Despite having shed nearly 70lbs since New Year’s, it’s been difficult to appreciate what sort of a transformation it has really had on me. I continue to look in the mirror and still see hanging bits of flesh and poorly defined body features. Complicated by the time frame this has occurred over, things have not been readily obvious visually.
I had gone down almost two shirt sizes, and gone from not quite fitting into a belt to now almost needing another (~5″ if not more) because it’s as tight as it can go. People have remarked how obvious it is to them, but somehow it continued to remain elusive to myself visually. At least, until today.
Last night’s inadvertant auto pep talk left me riding a bit of a confidence high. I’ve never been one to take “selfies” as they’re called1, but I felt I should this morning, and so did. Give myself a more current avatar for some social media streams. I pretty promptly felt happy with it, and replaced my previous Facebook profile picture.
Then it hit me.
I finally saw a (significant) difference. Holy hell. That was even before my heaviest at the end of December; I was probably hovering around 245–250lbs. Just seeing the difference around my cheeks and neck was a bit shocking. I still have a bit of double–chin action going on, but that — much like the rest of my body — is still due in part to carrying around so much extra weight for over a decade.
I won’t say I’m totally convinced I’m looking great, but I’ll definitely buy into how much better I (theoretically) look2.
Today was a (mostly) solid day of confidence. Let’s keep this ball rolling, folks…
1I worry that they come off as conceited. I feel like I’ve had such rare reinforcement that I’m handsome/sexy/attractive/etc., I have a hard time believing as such. I think I detailed this somewhere else or another. I remember briefly talking about it with @katekowalski about it. Perhaps it was just a tweet, and not a blog post. Anyhoo. Social preconception expects men to vocally/visually compliment women; social preconception doesn’t seem to suggest the converse.
2I only say theoretically, ’cause I really still have no idea what is or isn’t considered attractive/good–looking in men, let alone how much of it I possess. Yes, yes, I know, it’s different for everyone, but that just makes it all the more complicated!