This year, I had to let go of some of my complete independence that I was running on since the separation. Financially, I just couldn’t quite manage the old apartment I was in (depleted most of my savings on hand at the time), so I had to opt to find a roommate and go back to cohabiting in an apartment.

Living with a roommate again is kind of a huge deal. I had a less then desirable experience with this when I was in college. The first roommates I lived with when I moved off campus were not exactly a good decision. One was pretty on top of things (he was also in a near-engaged relationship with his high school girlfriend), but the other was essentially my best friend at the time after my sophomore year. However, he turned out to be rather irresponsible on maintaining any regular duties1, and a bit of a slob to boot2. Combine this with the fact that he played EverQuest so religiously that he couldn’t maintain his job that summer (or the following one), I had to get out of there the second summer I lived there.

At that point, I moved out on my own; I lived alone for the remaining three years in Fargo, and it was fantastic. I had complete control over my domain, the messiness (or more exactly cleanliness), food, and environmental controls. I paid my bills, cleaned my apartment, watched what I wanted, stayed up as late as I wanted, and had over whomever I wanted. It was grand!

I moved to Buffalo with Holly after we got married. She was the only roommate I had to deal with after that. Until now!

With my finances in a crunch, I was fortunate enough to find a female that was looking for any roommate. She sounded relatively normal, had a mildly eccentric (from the photos) but cozy look to the apartment, and the rent was easily just right. I checked it out, filled out an app, prayed that I got picked out of any other takers, and I lucked out!

I had huge reservations over all of this. Could I handle dealing with another person’s idiosyncrasies again? Would she turn out to be a total slob despite the superficial appearance of the apartment during the tour(s)? Would she turn out bat-shit crazy when I least expected it? Would I flip over some total desecration of my own belongings in some cult-like heresy burning?

In short, no3. She turned out to be a delightful girl with some interesting and amusing quirks to her. She admits she’s a bit of a bum when it comes to dishes, but it’s nothing I cannot handle. We borrow each other’s books for reading from time to time, I graced her with the benefit of a TV and BluRay player4, and every now and then we connect and chat about whatever happens to be the topic on hand. We used to chat a bit more during the first month or two, but I’m not sure if things have just changed since then or she’s just satisfied with what she’s gotten so far and just takes it from there.

I still feel like I’m tiptoing around at times5, but it’s not so bad. I think I only feel like that because it feels hard to read my roommate some days. That does bring to mind something else I should probably let go of, however, and that is my over-concerned nature with how other people view or interact with me. But that’s a story for another day!

P.S. I’ll be catching up on the other reverb10 days tomorrow. I just didn’t catch on to what all those tweets were about it until tonight!


1Our phone line was turned off twice because he neglected to pay the bill for three consecutive months. It was agreed I was paying cable and water/garbage, he was paying electric and telephone. I think the reconnection charge was pushing $50, and he still managed to let it happen a second time!
2He piled his mail on the table for lord knows how long. He let dirty dishes sit in his bedroom until they were growing stuff. His beer bottles would typically be growing mold by the time they’d make it to the garbage. He once left an entire three-box pot of mac’n’cheese sit on the stove overnight after he was done cooking it (thankfully the heat wasn’t on).
3In long, thank god, no!
4She seems to use them infrequently, however; she’s much more comfortable just using her computer to play DVD’s despite the TV’s 37″ size.
5It still feels a little weird to be living with a female I did not know prior, compared to living with one I was in a serious relationship with for nearly four years.