10. January 2014 · Write a comment · Categories: Rant · Tags:

It’s bad enough when people try to test me when I’m sober, coherent, and “on my game.” But when people try to seduce (through whatever means available) me, (try to) catch me at my weakest, and attempt to test me then? That’s just dirty, under-handed, and malicious. If you want to try & test me, be forthright and out with it: don’t guise it under another illusion to “see how I perform.”

I am sure people fail to realize my paranoia is exacerbated when I’m intoxicated. I am all the more easy-going; I am all the more gullible; but I am all the more skeptical1. A subtle test is a more than clear indicator that you’re not attempting to indulge, but you’re instead attempting to pry.

Get out; you’re not welcome. I understand trust is a hard thing for new acquaintances in unfamiliar or out-of-the-average surroundings. However, you’re not new; you’re not anywhere unfamiliar; you decided I needed a test, and I’ve clearly dictated where we stand in the past (repeatedly). Nothing beyond x, yet you’re testing beyond it. Clearly, you haven’t accepted where you said you stand.

I repeat: get out; you are not welcome. If you do not abide, you will be disappointed beyond expectation as you (attempt to) dig further.

1Yes, I realize the latter two are a bit at conflict with each other, but I am prone to just “going with the flow” all the more often while drunk, but at the same time highly suspicious of any slightly unusual reasons for “going with the flow.”