December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Hooboy. Lists, huh? This one is a little longer than I had been hoping for, but let’s see how it goes…

  1. Anxiety – My life is loaded with ridiculous amounts of anxiety. It is predominantly self-inflicted, too, which makes it all the more problematic. And so with that, removing it is an ever-present process. I spoke with a counselor after Holly and I made the decision to finally separate and see separate counselors, and it has been pretty apparent that I know what I need to do; I’m just horrible at actually accomplishing that. However, much of it is based on my worry about how others are going to perceive my actions or myself as a person.

    I tell myself every year that I’m going to step outside of my boundaries and be more open about things. I think this year I have no reason not to. I’m only going to be in Buffalo for likely this year, and then I’ll be off and on my way to post-docs, industrial positions, or some other next step along my career path. And not to say I’m going to be burning bridges, but even if I do piss some people off or alienate them with my forthrightness, I need to learn to shrug it off a little, right? This will set me up much better for wherever I get to next; odds are I’ll be moving alone to whatever next stage of my life I’ll be in, so let’s hit the ground running!

  2. Possessions – Not all of them, but a lot of them. I am still too much in the transitional stages of both my professional and personal lives, so I need to lighten my load a little so I’m not overburdened or overly taxed every time I need to make a move. I love to cook, but I don’t need all of the cooking utensils I have. I’m in love with my cobalt glasses I bought from Pier One nearly a decade ago, but I don’t need nearly that many glasses1. My entertainment center nearly did not make it with me in the last move, but Rich thankfully assisted me in moving it, for which I cannot thank him enough for! But I really do not need it; it needs to be parted with. I really have a laundry list of things I need to start selling/giving away from springtime to lighten the load (especially if I move in the summer again), but I can go into that in another post or comment if someone’s really interested in what I’m parting with. Ideally, I need to reduce my personal belongings to no more than a couple carfuls of space: enough to fit into the backseat and trunk of the Jetta, and a small U-Haul or Ryder trailer hitched onto the Jetta2.

  3. 40 Pounds – Really. I graduated high school hovering somewhere around 175lbs. I’m currently 240, give or take a few pounds. I was hovering around 250 most of last year, and I made a promise to myself I’d get back down to 200lbs before I move out of Buffalo. That’s starting to look like a tall order if I do finish up within the year, but I’m not about to back out on it! Once my budget recovers and I’m saving a little money again, I need to invest in some very good gloves3 so I can resume my college habit of biking in the winter. When the spring finally thaws, I need to start running again and get myself back into some 5k runs. Over Christmas break, I’m going to get myself into the gym on UB’s south campus to start getting my cardio back into shape while I cannot do the outdoorsy route that well. I sloughed 10 last year, and I could probably have done more if I stuck with a running plan more in the fall. I’ll feel better, I’ll look better (hopefully…yay dates?), hopefully I’ll have my body fixed back to where I want it before I roll out of my 30th year!

  4. Mental Filter – I have a strong mental filter that runs through nearly everything before it exits my mind and is produced from my body. It really protects anyone and everyone from seeing my true character off the get go, unless you catch me with it already down in front of someone. Some of this is in alignment with the anxiety issue I detailed above, but this is also one that needs to be addressed on its own. I need to be far more forthright with people and just trust them to take me as I am (cue music). Let my mental filter down so people can get to know the real me moreso, and quit hiding it because I’m afraid of saying something bad!

  5. Control – I hold my life with a deathgrip half of the time, I swear. I need to learn how to lose control a bit, and let things go where they may. I don’t really have a solid plan for that one yet…I just need to make sure I don’t turn into some crazy idiot in the process. Letting go of some of that control will make it a little easier to break out of that little bubble I’m always trying to get out of as well.

  6. Wardrobe – Not literally get rid of it, but I need to change it. It primarily consists of blue jeans and t-shirts at the moment. I work in a research laboratory all day, so comfy and non-offending is really all that is necessary. I need to mix it up with more slacks and nicer shirts; I like to wear them, but I simply don’t have enough. Time to start retiring these worn out tees and jeans, and get something a little more fitting of what I would like to be seen in out in public perhaps!

  7. Car – I would love to rid myself of the car and find a way to be functional without it. It would save so much money, and honestly feel quite liberating to just get by with mass transit, biking, and just my good ol’ feet! Unfortunately, I need to fulfill some of the options before that could even happen, and I would have to likely have to move somewhere more feasible for this. This is sort of a scapegoat for this list because I’m running out of ideas, but if I do finally move out of Buffalo before the end of the year, this could actually be a possibility for me. Also, I left it for #11 because it’d be huge if I could pull this off (and, well, you know, 11 is pretty huge compared to the rest of the numbers in this list, heh).

Sorry, seven is all I have at the moment. Those are the big ticket items that I really need to remove from my life, and I think I’ll have my hands pretty full with them for a while to be honest. If I think of some other unnecessary items, I’ll be sure to edit them (with due notice), but I think those listed above are a pretty big start for the time being.

1Something along the lines of those or the dark green tea sets that my mother gave to me I can probably afford to keep, but they need to move to some permanent storage site until I settle down and can enjoy them again.
2In any case, when I leave the area, I’m going to really despite having to use a moving truck. I would very much rather just pay to install a car hitch on the Jetta, and get a small trailer to take with me and keep it at that. I miss the earlier days of college when everything I owned could fit into my car and go from dorm to dorm!
3I’ve had circulation issues with my hands ever since high school. I can double and triple gloves my hand, and they would still feel like they were freezing solid when I would blow snow, shovel, you name it. I need some kind of fancy, high tech gloves to handle the bike rides in the winter; their sensitivity to cold has grown slowly over the years, as has been apparently trying to go in and out of the -80˚C freezer at work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *